Little things. Big things. Funny things. Sweet things. Anythings. How well do we know the closest people in our lives?
Here are 13 random things about my Mom.
1. She loves Heath Bars.
2. She is an amazing cook. Guyzzzz. I'm not even kidding. And this is why I will never be skinny. :D
3. She is very practical.
4: Even if Gracie (3) wants Mom to read her the same storybook everyday for a month, Mom still will.
5: She loves her coffee sweet.
6: Purple is her favorite color.
7: When we are sick, Mom always takes care of us, even though she feels like crap, too.
8: She is absolutely beautiful at playing the piano by ear. Seriously.
9: She loves having a clean house.
10: She comes up with great ideas all the time.
11: She can (and does) think we're silly all day long, but when it comes down to it, she's always there for us and supports the next stupid thing we take it into our heads to do.
12: She loves pretty things, and is good at making things that way. :)
13: She always puts family first.
xx
1/2/16
Winter Break Is Almost Over
I have successfully completed my first semester of college, and in just barely over a week, I am going to start my second one. My first semester was a huge experience for me, mixed with both loads of hard work, and also bunches of fun. I felt like all I ever did anymore was homework! But late nights playing banana grams and watching barbie movies pulled me through.
I am the type of person who hates change. To give an example, one time my Mom rearranged the living room and put the couch against a different wall, and it took 6 months for me to even feel comfortable entering the room. It took a full year for me to get used to it and like it that way. Change is super hard for me. What's also hard is too much social interaction. To get things straight, I am probably the most awkward person you will ever meet. And not the funny type, but the type who gives weird awkward smiles when I meet someone (or don't know you very well), and then just keeps SMILING AND SMILING, AND NOT STOPPING. Because I don't know what else to do. And I can't keep a conversation going to save my life. I am defineitly an awkward introvert to the core. That doesn't mean I hate even going into public or being around people, because I do love to socialize and talk with people and all that jazz. But I can only handle so much before I am ready to recharge back at home.
That being said, imagine me being dumped on a school campus, knowing basically no one (I knew two people that went to the school; my brother and my sister), and living in a hall with 16 other girls, two roommates, and going to classes every day. I WAS SURROUNDED. I couldn't escape the onslaught of people everywhere. At first I was okay, because of all the excitement and stuff. But once it kicked in that I was away from my family and living on campus, I was homesick and needed a break from human interaction. But there was no escape! I was stuck there. I couldn't leave. And I was miserable.
I basically cried 5 billion times the first couple months, I was so miserable. Having to be around tons of people almost constantly wore my energy down the the bone and made me feel like I was going to die or go crazy. I cried myself to sleep a lot.
But on my first day I med a girl. I instantly wanted to be her friend. She was a pretty, cute little Asian girl named Grace, and she was in my "Freshman Year Experience" group. She also ended up being in my hall, the room next to mine. We instantly connected and became friends, and we both found out we were each as weird as the other. We are so similarly weird!!! She literally helped me survive those first couple of months, and I would not have made it without her. And I mean it. I was miserable and ready to give up. But she kept me going.
And then there's Gabi. She's also in my hall. I didn't connect with her right away because she was shy like me. So our friendship was slower in happening. But she is amazing! She is such a godly girl, and the sweetest thing ever! She's also super funny and can be goofy, too. Gabi is the best, and has encouraged me in my faith in God so much. Me, Grace, and Gabi did everything together during those months of the semester. I love them both tons and am glad we are friends! <3
Next semester I am taking 18 units and quitting my job. I will stay on campus more, focus hard on school, art, community service (you have to do lots of community service to graduate), and maybe come even more out of my shell and stop holing up in my room! Maybe I'll even go swing dancing with Gabi! But I don't know. We'll see about that one. :)
Anyways, this is an update on my life. <3 <3
xx samantha
I am the type of person who hates change. To give an example, one time my Mom rearranged the living room and put the couch against a different wall, and it took 6 months for me to even feel comfortable entering the room. It took a full year for me to get used to it and like it that way. Change is super hard for me. What's also hard is too much social interaction. To get things straight, I am probably the most awkward person you will ever meet. And not the funny type, but the type who gives weird awkward smiles when I meet someone (or don't know you very well), and then just keeps SMILING AND SMILING, AND NOT STOPPING. Because I don't know what else to do. And I can't keep a conversation going to save my life. I am defineitly an awkward introvert to the core. That doesn't mean I hate even going into public or being around people, because I do love to socialize and talk with people and all that jazz. But I can only handle so much before I am ready to recharge back at home.
That being said, imagine me being dumped on a school campus, knowing basically no one (I knew two people that went to the school; my brother and my sister), and living in a hall with 16 other girls, two roommates, and going to classes every day. I WAS SURROUNDED. I couldn't escape the onslaught of people everywhere. At first I was okay, because of all the excitement and stuff. But once it kicked in that I was away from my family and living on campus, I was homesick and needed a break from human interaction. But there was no escape! I was stuck there. I couldn't leave. And I was miserable.
I basically cried 5 billion times the first couple months, I was so miserable. Having to be around tons of people almost constantly wore my energy down the the bone and made me feel like I was going to die or go crazy. I cried myself to sleep a lot.
But on my first day I med a girl. I instantly wanted to be her friend. She was a pretty, cute little Asian girl named Grace, and she was in my "Freshman Year Experience" group. She also ended up being in my hall, the room next to mine. We instantly connected and became friends, and we both found out we were each as weird as the other. We are so similarly weird!!! She literally helped me survive those first couple of months, and I would not have made it without her. And I mean it. I was miserable and ready to give up. But she kept me going.
And then there's Gabi. She's also in my hall. I didn't connect with her right away because she was shy like me. So our friendship was slower in happening. But she is amazing! She is such a godly girl, and the sweetest thing ever! She's also super funny and can be goofy, too. Gabi is the best, and has encouraged me in my faith in God so much. Me, Grace, and Gabi did everything together during those months of the semester. I love them both tons and am glad we are friends! <3
Next semester I am taking 18 units and quitting my job. I will stay on campus more, focus hard on school, art, community service (you have to do lots of community service to graduate), and maybe come even more out of my shell and stop holing up in my room! Maybe I'll even go swing dancing with Gabi! But I don't know. We'll see about that one. :)
Anyways, this is an update on my life. <3 <3
xx samantha
7/17/15
I Love You Forever
"Goodnight," we whispered. But we all knew it wouldn't be.
And that was the night she died.
Hospital waiting rooms look pretty much like I expected. A little bigger, actually, but pretty much the same. It was as horrible as I imagined it must be, too; only more real. More horrible. Because this time I wasn't putting myself in someone else's shoes. I was in those shoes. And those shoes.... hurt.
We got the call on Friday morning, and my mom took the kids and went to the hospital immediately. I couldn't go because I had to work.
Somehow, even though I really was worried, I didn't really think it was serious. I thought everything would be "ok." Everything always ends up being O.K., right?
Right.
And then Sunday after church, we got a text message from my Aunt. Things didn't look good. Originally we had planned to eat lunch, give Dad his Father's Day presents, and then head back down to the hospital to see Grandma. But instead we rushed through lunch and just glanced through the presents. It wasn't necessarily cheerful.
Everyone looked like they had been crying. Everyone in the waiting room, I mean.
"Do you want to see Grandma?" my Aunt asked me. Of course I did. So she took me to the room.
I will never forget how Grandma looked, although I wish with all my heart I could. And I won't describe the horror. Because that's when I realized. Everything was not ok. Everything was wrong.
And I cried.
She had had a heart attack. The paramedics had barely reached her in time to "revive" her. But it wasn't enough. There was too much damage done. Too much damage.....
We all knew what was going to happen, really. We still hoped. But we knew. Deep down.
It was Monday afternoon they took Grandma off the machines.
I will never eat ice cream cones at her house again. That's the only place I ever really have ice cream cones. At Grandma and Grandpa's house. And now I never will again.
Grandma was the centerpiece to the entire family. She really was. I never noticed that before, but it's true. She was everything. And now she's gone.
She missed my eighteenth birthday. She died five days before I turned eighteen. It was a sucky day. A really sucky day.
Grandma, I love you. I miss you.
I love you.
xx
And that was the night she died.
Hospital waiting rooms look pretty much like I expected. A little bigger, actually, but pretty much the same. It was as horrible as I imagined it must be, too; only more real. More horrible. Because this time I wasn't putting myself in someone else's shoes. I was in those shoes. And those shoes.... hurt.
We got the call on Friday morning, and my mom took the kids and went to the hospital immediately. I couldn't go because I had to work.
Somehow, even though I really was worried, I didn't really think it was serious. I thought everything would be "ok." Everything always ends up being O.K., right?
Right.
And then Sunday after church, we got a text message from my Aunt. Things didn't look good. Originally we had planned to eat lunch, give Dad his Father's Day presents, and then head back down to the hospital to see Grandma. But instead we rushed through lunch and just glanced through the presents. It wasn't necessarily cheerful.
Everyone looked like they had been crying. Everyone in the waiting room, I mean.
"Do you want to see Grandma?" my Aunt asked me. Of course I did. So she took me to the room.
I will never forget how Grandma looked, although I wish with all my heart I could. And I won't describe the horror. Because that's when I realized. Everything was not ok. Everything was wrong.
And I cried.
She had had a heart attack. The paramedics had barely reached her in time to "revive" her. But it wasn't enough. There was too much damage done. Too much damage.....
We all knew what was going to happen, really. We still hoped. But we knew. Deep down.
It was Monday afternoon they took Grandma off the machines.
I will never eat ice cream cones at her house again. That's the only place I ever really have ice cream cones. At Grandma and Grandpa's house. And now I never will again.
Grandma was the centerpiece to the entire family. She really was. I never noticed that before, but it's true. She was everything. And now she's gone.
She missed my eighteenth birthday. She died five days before I turned eighteen. It was a sucky day. A really sucky day.
Grandma, I love you. I miss you.
I love you.
xx
6/19/15
You Can Fly
when you have a friend who will spur of the moment go to rayley's with you and eat bananas and peanut butter right there in the store for dinner - just. yes. because sometimes, you just need to eat bananas and peanut butter for dinner.
5/8/15
My First Portrait of Someone Else
A lady from my church wanted me to draw a pic of her and her fiance. So here it is,
And here is a closeup,
I think it ended up pretty good; it actually looks like them. Yay!
xx
And here is a closeup,
I think it ended up pretty good; it actually looks like them. Yay!
xx
4/16/15
I don't know anything, but that's okay
To go, or not to go.
To do, or not to do.
Where, and where not.
How, and how to.
When, and what.
Questions are welling up in my brain. I'm not sure what to do. I've had to make a lot of decisions. And anyone who knows me knows how good I am at *that*! I'm always afraid of a wrong and regretted decision.
Aaaagggg! It's so.... hard to know what to do.
I want to work with orphans (in India, specifically). Help them. Love them. Tell them about Jesus.
But I can't just waltz up to some orphanage, like, "Yo, I'm here to help."
It don't work like that, y'all.
So what do I do....
And what about college?
Should I go?
Do I get a degree?
What do I get a degree in?
I am good at art, so I guess it would make sense to get an art degree and do something with that.
But what do I do with an art degree in India? Teach it? I guess. But what does that have to do with helping the poor, working with orphans, and telling people about Jesus? DOES it have anything to do with that?
1: I could set up an art studio, teach art in it, and have a shelter built into it where homeless and poor can come in for a night to stay, or food to eat.
2: I could teach art as a job, and also on my own reach out to the people.
Or I could forget art and just go be a straight up missionary in India.
What do I do????
excuse me while i sob in a corner while I contemplate what I shall do with the rest of my life.
Okay, crying done. I'm okay. I can do this.
I got this, bro.
Ok, I don't got it, but I got it.
:D
xx
To do, or not to do.
Where, and where not.
How, and how to.
When, and what.
Questions are welling up in my brain. I'm not sure what to do. I've had to make a lot of decisions. And anyone who knows me knows how good I am at *that*! I'm always afraid of a wrong and regretted decision.
Aaaagggg! It's so.... hard to know what to do.
I want to work with orphans (in India, specifically). Help them. Love them. Tell them about Jesus.
But I can't just waltz up to some orphanage, like, "Yo, I'm here to help."
It don't work like that, y'all.
So what do I do....
And what about college?
Should I go?
Do I get a degree?
What do I get a degree in?
I am good at art, so I guess it would make sense to get an art degree and do something with that.
But what do I do with an art degree in India? Teach it? I guess. But what does that have to do with helping the poor, working with orphans, and telling people about Jesus? DOES it have anything to do with that?
1: I could set up an art studio, teach art in it, and have a shelter built into it where homeless and poor can come in for a night to stay, or food to eat.
2: I could teach art as a job, and also on my own reach out to the people.
Or I could forget art and just go be a straight up missionary in India.
What do I do????
excuse me while i sob in a corner while I contemplate what I shall do with the rest of my life.
Okay, crying done. I'm okay. I can do this.
I got this, bro.
Ok, I don't got it, but I got it.
:D
xx
3/26/15
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