But that's okay - BECAUSE I HATE THEM.
I detest the creatures.
I loathe them.
I despise them.
They really are so odious!
I have always hated spiders. Actually, I don't like very many other bugs, either. But spiders? I want them dead. Every last one of them. Dead, I tell you! Flushed down the toilet, smooshed under a rock, flattened by a shoe - makes no difference, as long as they are dead.
I suppose it's typical for females to dislike spiders.What's there to like in a spider? How can anyone actually LIKE a spider???? I am terrified of spiders (except the itty bitty ones) and sometimes have nightmarish dreams where they crawl all over my skin and pry into my mouth - yuck! Then when I wake up in the middle of the night, I lay there shivering and shuddering, and wiping my mouth to get the sticky feel away. And pretty much feel a billion little legs creepy-crawling all over my body.
I used to have a afternoon job that had to do with spiders when I was younger. You know those things that are like these long poles with a fuzzy ball thing on the end? They are supposed to wipe away cobwebs and stuff. Well, that was my job. Going throughout the house searching for webs and swiping them away. You can imagine how I felt about this job. *Shudders*. In a lot of the webs, there were still big disgusting spiders living in them! Long gangly legs and a little ugly ball for a body - Daddy Long Legs. Oh, how I dislike spiders!
Well, it got to where whenever I came across a spider web with a occupant dangling from it, I would literally take like, ten to fifteen minutes just to sike myself up to stab at it with the webster thingy! And then I would shriek and shake out the webster on the deck. The scary part was that sometimes the spider dropped down onto the floor if I didn't hit it with my jab, and then it would get away. Yikes!
Finally, my mom had enough of my ridiculousness. She assigned the job to someone else. (to which I am eternally grateful).
And then there's the person I used to clean for. Sometimes in the less used rooms of the house, I would run across big black spiders on the walls. OH. MY. GOSH. I had to vacuum those up! Run Away. I'm glad I wasn't being watched while I was doing this, because sometimes I would really be freaking out and it would take me a few deep breaths before I finally shot my hand out with the vacuum tube and sucked it up. And then I would imagine it crawling back out to get me and get revenge, even though I knew it was swirling away in the vacuum. I guess I have a big imagination. I am glad I had the vacuum running though, as it covered up my whimpers.
Man, I really am a big baby, aren't I? Wow. . . yep, I guess I sound super silly right now. But hey! The struggle is real, guys.
And that is my story about spiders. I guess now you now all know that I am a wimp. Sad, but true. . .
welllllll, that's enough for now. not sure why I really told the whole world that i am terrified and absolutely loathe spiders, but I did.