I have successfully completed my first semester of college, and in just barely over a week, I am going to start my second one. My first semester was a huge experience for me, mixed with both loads of hard work, and also bunches of fun. I felt like all I ever did anymore was homework! But late nights playing banana grams and watching barbie movies pulled me through.
I am the type of person who hates change. To give an example, one time my Mom rearranged the living room and put the couch against a different wall, and it took 6 months for me to even feel comfortable entering the room. It took a full year for me to get used to it and like it that way. Change is super hard for me. What's also hard is too much social interaction. To get things straight, I am probably the most awkward person you will ever meet. And not the funny type, but the type who gives weird awkward smiles when I meet someone (or don't know you very well), and then just keeps SMILING AND SMILING, AND NOT STOPPING. Because I don't know what else to do. And I can't keep a conversation going to save my life. I am defineitly an awkward introvert to the core. That doesn't mean I hate even going into public or being around people, because I do love to socialize and talk with people and all that jazz. But I can only handle so much before I am ready to recharge back at home.
That being said, imagine me being dumped on a school campus, knowing basically no one (I knew two people that went to the school; my brother and my sister), and living in a hall with 16 other girls, two roommates, and going to classes every day. I WAS SURROUNDED. I couldn't escape the onslaught of people everywhere. At first I was okay, because of all the excitement and stuff. But once it kicked in that I was away from my family and living on campus, I was homesick and needed a break from human interaction. But there was no escape! I was stuck there. I couldn't leave. And I was miserable.
I basically cried 5 billion times the first couple months, I was so miserable. Having to be around tons of people almost constantly wore my energy down the the bone and made me feel like I was going to die or go crazy. I cried myself to sleep a lot.
But on my first day I med a girl. I instantly wanted to be her friend. She was a pretty, cute little Asian girl named Grace, and she was in my "Freshman Year Experience" group. She also ended up being in my hall, the room next to mine. We instantly connected and became friends, and we both found out we were each as weird as the other. We are so similarly weird!!! She literally helped me survive those first couple of months, and I would not have made it without her. And I mean it. I was miserable and ready to give up. But she kept me going.
And then there's Gabi. She's also in my hall. I didn't connect with her right away because she was shy like me. So our friendship was slower in happening. But she is amazing! She is such a godly girl, and the sweetest thing ever! She's also super funny and can be goofy, too. Gabi is the best, and has encouraged me in my faith in God so much. Me, Grace, and Gabi did everything together during those months of the semester. I love them both tons and am glad we are friends! <3
Next semester I am taking 18 units and quitting my job. I will stay on campus more, focus hard on school, art, community service (you have to do lots of community service to graduate), and maybe come even more out of my shell and stop holing up in my room! Maybe I'll even go swing dancing with Gabi! But I don't know. We'll see about that one. :)
Anyways, this is an update on my life. <3 <3
xx samantha
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